drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
