we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
