It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize