Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
