there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
