no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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