I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize