He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
