don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
