After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
