Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The beer is more important than you right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
