we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
