Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize