She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
