dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
