community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
