Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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