i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
