I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
