Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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