I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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