Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
