Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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