i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize