my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
