She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
