I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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