Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
