What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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