Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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