a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
