i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
