I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
