I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
