I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize