the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
