And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
