i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
