i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
