I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
