just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
