I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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