Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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