just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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