I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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