I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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