Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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