I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
