How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
