Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize