does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
