Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
