i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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