The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
