i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
