christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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