Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
