i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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