Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
