i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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