this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
