Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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