In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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