okay pat passed out under dana's car
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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