What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
